Mother's day wishes

Since my fist mother's day I've been clear with my family about what I'd like my Mother's Day to look like.  When you have young children I think naturally Mother's Day falls on the husband.  This added to the reason I wanted to keep this day as simple as possible. 

I do have one firm rule, no material gifts…


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How can we be wonderful parents in our child's eyes?

The answer is simple.  Ask your kids.

Open the conversation.  I love asking my kids "how am I doing as your mom?"  I've received great feedback, especially from my older two.  Feedback that makes me laugh, and feedback that makes me cringe.  I've made adjustments on how I parent my children because of this.  And none of my 4 children are the same.  That would be too easy.  Tip, if you have more than one child don't ask them all at the same time.  Maybe have them write down their answers.  I think you'll receive more authentic answers individually this way.  But before you ask the question, remind yourself, you are already wonderful.  We grow and we learn.

A request I received from one of my children was that I should be silly more often.  Yes, stings a bit, because I put laughter high on my list.  At least this was a simple fix.  At first, I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to explain the problem was they are often silly during times when it's inappropriate to be silly (like in a restaurant or a church pew).  Instead, I kept the negative comment to myself, because most likely they already know this.  So what I've done instead is encourage the silly, and added to the silly when the timing is appropriate for us to be silly.  

This has not only been fun - but soulful!  For all 6 of us.  It's also another confirmation that humans, and their needs, are very simple.  Amazing what we can learn from one another with just one question.

lovely matters blog by Heather Walker

Lovely links in September

Here's the lovely things we enjoyed this week that I think could benefit others.

I love purchasing my children a new shirt to wear on their Birthday to feel special.  In the past I've found shirts through etsy.  But sometimes there's not time to wait for a delivery or I'm just in the mood for a simple DYI.  I used iron on letters that I found here.  My little one found a simple t-shirt and this took me less than 5 minutes with the help of my excited little boy.

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The back of our house has been under construction for some time and somehow this has made it feel like the entire house is in disorder.  Because of this, hosting a Birthday party was something I decided to skip this year for my littlest.  My older children helped with a little last minute planning and we rallied up over 20 neighborhood kids and shared ice cream sandwiches.  This is the 3rd or 4th time we've done this and one of my favorite things about this is no one has time to think about getting a gift.  The gift is simply about gathering around a table to celebrate life and friendship... and my children walk away feeling loved by the people who surround us.  

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Have you ever heard about the four burners theory?  I think during the early years of Motherhood two burners sometimes had to be switched to off.  This article is a good reminder that we can't do it all and we actually have more control than we realize in what we want to give our priorities to.  If you are in the beginning stages of motherhood, remember this is a season, and all seasons need a little adjusting on where our priorities stand.  If it's your friend burner that you've turned off just send them a little message saying you are thinking about them and remember the true friends will still be there once you are ready to turn that burner back on.  

You'll here a lot about podcast from me.  I'll start with my favorite kids podcast.  I'm always looking for something that can please all my kids ages (4-11).  The Brains On podcast does exactly that.  So awesome for a road trip.  If you need to change the mood in your home you can tune into the one about animal farts

Birthday traditions matter

Traditions are important for so many reasons but one reason I love a tradition is because it reminds me to pause and document things the way they are in this moment.  

Lovely Matters blog by Heather Walker

This simple tradition of taking a picture on each birthday eve only takes one minute but it's not so much the photograph I love but the time I end up spending staring at them sleep reflecting on the time we've had together and dreaming of their future.  If it wasn't for the tradition reminding me to take the picture I may forget to stare.  And when he's at college I'll just pull out photos to stare at so I don't need to be a creepy Mom sneaking in his dorm room. ;)

Lovely Matters Blog by Heather Walker

So many favorite Birthday traditions, but one of my very favorites is recording laughter.  Of all the things I have on video, this sound has always been my favorite to come back to.  In the video below is what my 4 year old's laughter sounds like on his 4th Birthday.